Discovered I had a lodger the other day. I wouldn’t mind so much if he actually paid some rent, and maybe took the rubbish out, but all he is doing is hogging the bath!
He didn’t ask, he didn’t check if it was okay to move in…oh no…I was sat on the loo minding my own business and then I realised I was being watched. The biggest spider in the world’s dad was sat in my bath, watching me sat on the loo. I’m sure you have all seen big spiders. Imagine the biggest house spider you have seen….it’s daddy was in my bath.
I’m not a huge fan of spiders. The deal is that if they stay out of my way I won’t kill them. If they get in the way then they have to leave…no sad sob story about ‘Isn’t the weather getting chilly now?…Gosh your house is so cosy for a poor homeless spider’. Oh no. If they are stupid enough to get noticed and be over a certain size then they have to leave …immediately.
So I went and got a glass, a big glass, a PINT glass and a piece of paper. I tried catching the spider in the glass but he wouldn’t let me catch him in it, he kept trying to wrestle the glass off me. They have 8 legs you know, I only have two arms…it was tricky trying to make him drop the glass because he just caught it again with another leg… but my slightly bigger size and strength won the day …eventually.
One hand on glass, one hand on paper to stop him leaping out in a bid for warm freedom, I stood there looking at the closed window. How do I open the window? Both hands are busy holding the biggest spider in the world’s dad! If I put him down he’ll run off with the pint glass balanced on his head and take up residence under the stairs or something…
Moral of the story – if you’re spending any length of time in the bathroom, make sure the window is open.
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So – not just a huge spider, but one with a kinky propensity for watching a woman on the loo! (Imagine, it may even have had a concealed camera….) The trouble with leaving the window open, too, is that that might seem an invitation to other voyeurs.
Very well told, Anna: but you stop at a cliff-hanging point in the story. Are we to assume that you had to let Peeping Arachnidaddy go free?
And to make sure you leave the bath pug in at night! lol
So what happen next, how did you get the spider out of your bathroom/house??
Yikes! I hate spiders, HATE them. a few days ago i was making a cuppa and looked down, THE HUGEST spider was on my top, naturally i did what anyone would do… screamed and ran around shaking my top, but it just clung on and it was starting to crawl up towards my face :O! It was then that I ran into the living room screaming and alarming my family lol I was like “GET IT OFF GET IT OFF ITS GOING TO BITE ME!” bite me?! I have no idea what i was thinking… it wasnt a tarantula but for some reason i think i went mad, anyway eventually got it off and i sat down crying like a big girls blouse… lol
hahah sorry lulu but you do have every right to be scared, those big black bastards can actually give a nasty bite!!!
Imagine,what might have been going though that little mind of his when he saw you!
So,did ya let him go free so he could share the excitement he had with his buddies???
( somehow,I could just see what all you went through to leave us hanging )
He mistook you for Miss Muffet?
We get big hairy scary spiders around here…they be scary LOL